Moments in Color

4 years old

2011-05-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

To my Sawyer, a very happy birthday. You make me smile daily. You are so incredibly sensitive and sweet and you always want to make sure that everyone is happy with you. If you think, even for a moment, that we are upset at you, your big blue eyes fill with tears and you can't go on until we've reassured you that all is well. You are an amazing big brother to Gavin. From the moment he was born you have smiled at him, played with him, and made sure he was safe. Even now, you can make him laugh like no one else. You adore your big brother Ian and want so much to be a part of all that he does. We often call you our "buddy" because you love to go on errands, one on one, with either me or Dad. You are the first one to ask, "can I go?". And always the first one to help with a task if we need it. You love to be hugged and carried. You love to "snuddo" on the couch and read books. You love to do something crazy for just a minute until you realize that someone is watching and then you cover your eyes and shyly smile.

When you were a little baby, you refused to sleep longer than 2 hours at a time. It seems hard to believe now... but for 15 months I got up with you every 2 hours at night to rock and nurse. It was the hardest thing I had done and I prayed nightly for grace to give you what I knew you needed... comfort. It took you 2 full years to sleep 8 hours for the first time, and only when we moved you in to Ian's bedroom with him. It feels like ages ago but what I remember distinctly is praying for you in the middle of night while I rocked you over and over again. So many people told me to let you cry. But I couldn't do it. My instinct told me that you needed reassurance, you needed comfort, and I was determined to meet you there. And now I see why. I see your gentle spirit and I know it would have been crushed if you were left by yourself when you needed me. I'm so thankful for God whispering grace in my ear when I felt like I couldn't get up just. one. more. time. You were worth it baby. That and much much more. Happy birthday sweet Sawyer. Mama loves you.

A new 1 year old

2011-04-19T09:06:00.000-07:00

To Gavin, my amazingly sweet little 1 year old... You love being held and are content to just suck on your two little fingers. When you play with your brothers you laugh at their craziness at all the right times and when your blue eyes light up I can tell you understand far more than we ever realize. You have the cutest two little bottom teeth ever and I'm in love with your gummy smile. You love to rock out to music of any kind, even if it's just a beat. You will watch your Daddy sing and play guitar for ever and then insist on joining in. You wave bye-bye when you know you are going to bed and your favorite thing is to snuggle in to breastfeed while I rock you to sleep. You crawl everywhere and pull yourself to a stand. You open any drawer and pull out it's contents no matter what they are. You love watching the chickens out the back door and you'll escape out any open door to get to the outside, rain or shine. We are so excited for this summer and even though the baby in you will start to fade even more... the toddler in you is going to be so much fun to have around! Happy birthday sweet baby boy!

Amazing what happens in just one little year!

April sights

2011-04-09T09:53:00.001-07:00

Rainy day Sawyer

2011-03-24T20:05:00.000-07:00

We do a lot of karate chops, high kicks, and hi-yah's on rainy days. And there's been a lot of rainy days lately. Thank goodness for indoor imaginations!

Thank you's

2011-02-28T08:37:00.000-08:00

Teaching thankfulness by doing. He grumbled and complained at first. But then it caught on and he wanted to do each part on his own completely. One moment learned... one more action that will hopefully embed itself into his heart.

Snow Day

2011-02-25T20:13:00.000-08:00

Taking advantage of a rare sight... snow! 7:00 in the morning and the boys were outside.

One usually gets cold before the other and prefers to watch from the inside where it's warm...

next to baby.

Snow piled clothes all across the floor but no one minds on such a special day.

Rosy cheeked boy fresh from the (inches) of snowy tundra.
Pure joy.

The 6 year old

2011-02-16T20:40:00.001-08:00

As of Monday, I officially became the mama of a 6 year old! While we are having more moments like this:

And continue to have moments like this:

Rest assured. There is also plenty of this:

and this:

yep:

and definitely some of:

And like the amazing boy he is... after a busy day of that... there's always room for this:

Happy birthday Ian.

Framed magnet board

2011-02-07T13:58:00.000-08:00

In need of some type of controlled space for the boys to hang their artwork, I found this tutorial here for a DIY framed magnet board. It's a big metal sheet covered with fabric and framed. Easy. (BTW...I love the colors of that play room and I'm seriously thinking about stealing the wall color for the boy's new learning/play area!) I hung this up in our hallway in between the new learning area, the kitchen, and the living room.

I made this one really big... 3x3 foot. Mostly because I had mistakenly bought an aluminum piece of metal sheeting first thinking it was lightweight and would work great on the wall. I cut the wood with a miter saw and painted it and even sewed the fabric pieces together before I realized that magnets don't stick to aluminum! Oops. So we had to search high and low for a steal metal sheet that same size. Home Depot had ones that were 2x3 which would also be a great size for this project. Anyway.. here's the pictures... I'm so happy with it and the boys just love it!

Simple

2010-11-09T14:07:00.000-08:00

Potage Parmentier ... hmmm, delicious.

Reminds me of this
and this
and this here
and other simple, pretty things.

I like simple and pretty.

Saucin' apples

2010-11-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

53 lbs of Hood River apples. 15 quarts applesauce and 2 gallon-sized bags of frozen applesauce cubes for Gavin. Done.

Trick or treating...

2010-10-31T20:42:00.000-07:00

...with a fruit bat and Indiana Jones!

This year's costumes were truly homemade. Though some coughs and sniffles threw our plans out of whack this week, we still managed to come up with some dress-up ideas that the boys really loved.

And a cute blurry picture of Gavin (in his little red bear hat!) and Jeremy (as himself).

Knock knock knock

2010-10-28T19:25:00.000-07:00

And my 4 month hiatus is over... now. I'm not sure I meant for that much time to pass without saying a word but I needed the time away. I've thought about this teeny tiny corner of the world and about what I wanted to do with it. Leave it? End it? Continue? I decided that it only mattered to me and when I look back I see a journal of our family and I know I can't let go yet. So I'm going to continue. But I'm keeping it simple... more what it started out as. A lot of pictures... a lot less talking. I love having a space to document the every day of our lives but I do not have the capacity in time or thought to sit and write what's really in my heart about all of this here. Some people do it gloriously well and I'm not one of them. But I hope that maybe, it will come through in the pictures I take.

So I'm back... with a new header! (Thank you Jeremy my love) and I'll be tweaking things here and there. In the meantime... it's Gavin! Happy Gavin. 6 months and counting...

Summer

2010-06-29T13:41:00.001-07:00

Oh my

2010-06-16T22:25:00.001-07:00

Has it really been over two weeks since I've posted... or should I admit... even thought about this space here? Not surprisingly, life is busy right now and I don't have the fortitude to remember everything I like keeping up with. So little tiny places get neglected... like here. But I want to keep posting. I'll just have to settle for little bits here and there.

Our June is going good even though we all still feel wet from this rainy season that just won't end. I have all of my canning and jam making supplies ready to go, I'm just waiting for two full days of sun so I can pick my strawberries (did you know? pick your fruit after at least two days of sun because the sun brings out their natural sugars and makes them oh so sweet).

And I've been bookmooching like crazy. It's been a fun way to get rid of old books and get new (to me) books in return. Plus, I love knowing that some of my books are headed across the country, or even to a new country, to a new home. I find the thought of it a bit... romantic. That something I read in my quiet time is now being read by someone else and tucked away on their shelf at night. Between that and my library holds that keep coming available, I'm reading quite a bit.

We finally made it to the beach and rented a cute little cottage right on the water. It was perfect and cozy and made me so glad we decided, spur of the moment, to go. The boys loved it of course... we all did. And it brought on more conversations of traveling and how we just need to get up and go if that's what we want more of. It made me excited about schooling at home because it leaves us more time to travel and gives us a lot of potential learning material. Maybe not right yet... but Scotland... we have our eye on you first.

Gavin is sweet and beautiful and amazing and everything I love about babies and everything I love about my babies. He's two months old (I KNOW!) and he's taking naps during the day now and smiling all the time. He recognizes voices and responds to us. He endures his brothers' bumps, hard kisses, and smothering hugs. And we love his bright eyes, cooing noises, and bubbles he blows.

Right now, Gavin is sleeping upstairs and Jeremy and the two older boys are playing XBOX Lego games. I'm sitting in a darkening office listening to them talk and reason and strategize with one ear perked for Gavin's first whimpers to let me know he's waking up. My days are busy just like most moms with little kids... filled with errands, cooking, cleaning, diffusing arguments and fights, doing laundry, and taking a break on the couch regularly to nurse a little one. But it's good. So very very good. Some days are really hard. Some days I wonder if I can do it at all and then I pray, quietly to myself, for the stress to stay away, for grace to come in it's place, and for only kind words to come out of my mouth. Most days I succeed... some I don't. But it's getting better and I'm getting the hang of it and I feel like we're all in it together which is what I want most of all. Life is good.

The Jesus Storybook Bible

2010-06-03T20:02:00.000-07:00

"No, the Bible isn't a book of rules, or a book of heroes. The bible is most of all a Story. It's an adventure story about a young Hero who comes from a far country to win back his lost treasure. It's a love story about a brave Prince who leaves his palace, his throne -- everything -- to rescue the one he loves. It's like the most wonderful of fairy tales that has come true in real life!

You see, the best thing about this Story is -- it's true.

There are lots of stories in the Bible, but all the stories are telling one Big Story. The Story of how God loves his children and comes to rescue them. It takes the whole Bible to tell this Story. And at the center of the Story, there is a baby. Every Story in the Bible whispers his name. He is like the missing piece in a puzzle -- the piece that makes all the other pieces fit together, and suddenly you can see a beautiful picture. And this is no ordinary baby. This is the Child upon whom everything would depend. This is the Child who would one day -- but wait. Our Story starts where all good stories start. Right at the very beginning..."

Excerpt from the greatest children's Bible ever written. Beautiful, simple, honest and makes me fall in love with Jesus over and over again. I highly, highly recommend it.

6 weeks

2010-05-27T10:32:00.000-07:00

* We LOVE our Applecheeks cloth diapers!

Taking time

2010-05-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

Life with a newborn always surprises me. It's always more physically demanding than I remember. Always more tiring. God is good to give us a reason in breastfeeding to continually have to sit, to rest, to reflect, and to just be. If I didn't have that excuse, I think the need to return everything to order would get the best of me and I wouldn't enjoy this time nearly as much as I do.

Gavin, while as sweet as can be, still reminds me that right now the focus is on him. There is rarely a time when he is not in my arms or in the front pack or breastfeeding. And the few times I find him sleeping and my arms empty, there are two more boys to quickly fill the space.

A couple of weeks ago my niece Meagan offered to spend the week with me since Jeremy was heading back to work. I quickly took her up on it and she spent four days entertaining the older boys, cleaning, and baking. It was wonderful. It allowed me to have just a little bit longer to recover and to spend time curled up on the couch with Gavin. She was amazing with the boys and included them in everything, including baking. It was so special for them to get the extra attention.

Now that Gavin is 5 weeks old and I've had a couple of weeks by myself at home with the boys, I'm slowly getting a rhythm back. Even if I only get one load of laundry done in the day, in addition to keeping the boys fed and all of us dressed, I still feel I'm successfully finding my footing as a mama of 3.

I never think I'm attached to my kitchen until I no longer have control of it. While I've absolutely loved and appreciated all the meals that were brought to us and the ones that were made in my kitchen by friends, I'm happy to be back in that little corner of the house. I think I was more tired the last few months of Gavin's pregnancy than I realized. And now that I feel good enough to cook, I've been really enjoying planning meals and cooking healthy, yummy food again.

This particular meal has become one of my favorites lately, especially with summer coming. It's (my slightly changed version) Dilled Adzuki Bean and Rice Salad. I use quinoa instead of rice though rice is equally as yummy. I love finding new ways to eat quinoa so this was an easy change for me. I buy dry adzuki beans because they only take an hour to cook and don't need to be soaked first and I've found that adding salt to the cooking beans helps deepen the flavor of the finished recipe. Also... the fresh dill is a MUST!

I love Nourishing Meals and her recipes. The cookbook is just as good and full of really great nutritional information. They are mostly gluten-free and vegan but she adds a chicken dish every now and then. I've said it before but I love cooking vegetarian and then adding meat in if I feel like it. There's so much more flavor to this style of cooking and it makes me more creative in the kitchen.

Since we don't eat meat that often at home, I usually saute or grill portobello mushrooms with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, garlic, salt, and pepper to eat with this salad.

Last weekend I completely reorganized my kitchen. It's amazing how a clean space can energize the soul and give me motivation. Plus I found quite a few recipes that I had forgotten about... I love it when that happens!

Birthday Boy

2010-05-14T09:17:00.000-07:00

Hard to believe that my 2nd little boy, Sawyer Benjamin, is now a big 3 year old! We had a big celebration for him yesterday and he loved the attention. What an adventure these past 3 years have been with him. While it started out a little rough... (crying babies that don't like to sleep can take an adjustment!)... he has become the most sweet-natured toddler I've ever been around. He loves to laugh and even cracks jokes. He wants to do everything that his big brother does and, of course, do it on his own. He loves to crawl in bed and snuggle with me which is the quickest way to this mama's heart for sure. He is extremely picky when it comes to food but we've found patience and repetition eventually changes his mind. He loves music and plays his guitar whenever Dad plays his. He sings songs and plays air drums. He is incredibly sensitive and wants to make sure we are never mad at him. He loves his little brother Gavin more than I ever thought a 3 year old could. He kisses his head, holds his hands, and tells him he loves him daily. Sawyer really is joy to my heart and our family is so much better with him.

Happy birthday Sawyer!

Mother's Day

2010-05-10T20:42:00.000-07:00

In pictures...

Life is full and so very busy right now. But wow... what a wonderful life this is. I'm so very very blessed to be a mama to these boys. They were wanted, prayed for, and cried over more than they will ever know. What a gift, what a joy....I love them with all of my heart. My three boys.

Lately

2010-04-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

Brewing...

Tea perfect for a postpartum mama- nettles, borage, alfalfa, and spearmint.

Drinking...
Green smoothies every morning. This one is an orange, two frozen bananas, a big handful of spinach, and just enough water to help it blend.

Enjoying...
A wooden leaf puzzle that came in the mail this week. So sweet!

Loving...
Two week old babies. Especially little Gavin and his calm, sweet spirit.

Jeremy is back to work today for the first time. I'm a mama at home with 3 boys... let the adventure begin!

Birthing

2010-04-22T12:32:00.000-07:00

My midwife stopped by our home yesterday for our one week postpartum visit. She checked Gavin's vitals and his weight (up to 7lbs 1oz!) and asked how I was feeling, emotionally and physically. We talked a bit about Gavin's birth and I realized how my feelings of that day are intertwined with her and the other two midwives on my "birth team". I know that they're belief in a woman's choice to birth how she wants gave me the freedom to figure out what that meant to me.

A little background... I had a c-section with Ian. I don't have any regrets about his birth although it did take me a good year to come to terms with it. But I know there was really no way around it... placental abruption and 12 weeks of bedrest ending in emergency c-section. It's his story, our story, and I treasure that. However, at my 6 week postpartum appointment I asked about the next baby and was told "once a cesarean, always a cesarean." I cried the entire way home.

18 months later when I became pregnant with Sawyer, we lived in a different town in a different part of the country. I looked into VBAC's and found a little more openness to it. I decided pretty early on that I didn't want a hospital birth regardless of their VBAC policy because I still felt they would be too quick to demand a c-section if I wasn't laboring to their specifications. So I found a midwife, not in a hospital but a freestanding birth center. Sawyer's pregnancy was, thankfully, uneventful and I ended up having a very successful VBAC.

This time, I looked into a hospital birth (for pain med options only) thinking I was now on an even playing field with everyone else. I quickly found out that I was still considered high-risk and no one cared about my VBAC, they only saw my c-section. I called my previous midwife back and asked if she would take me again. "I'd love to," she said without hesitation. I knew instantly I had made the right decision.

Gavin's birth was... amazing. I can hardly put into words the feelings I have about it. First of all, he was 9 days overdue. Having one baby at 37 weeks and another at exactly 40, I never thought I would go over my due date. I won't lie... it was hard. Talking to people and hearing the concern in their voices, I tried desperately to put it out of my mind. I laid it all down. I gave it to God. I had trust in my midwives and trust in my body that it knew the right time to birth this baby. I knew that only in a world of 40% c-section rates and constant inductions would the question of my body going into labor on it's own even be asked. Of course it would. Because that's exactly how God designed it.

And it did. After several hours of walking, changing positions, getting in and out of the tub, I knew it was time. Jeremy and my 3 midwives spoke encouraging words. No one touched me except to give me support. No one told me when it was okay to push or how to do it. She just told me to trust in my body and it would know. When we were minutes away from holding him, she touched my shoulder gently and told me what to expect next. I nodded, knowing exactly what I was going to do. When I knew I had pushed for the last time, I reached down and felt his little body and with both of my hands, pulled him out of the water by myself. I held him close and kissed his head letting him know that all was okay.

There is something about the indescribable intensity of the pain and the instantaneous relief as soon as the baby is born that mixes with the wonder of this new being and the crazy love you immediately feel that makes for one unforgettable moment. It's beautiful.

What a gift these women are to the birthing world. I'm so grateful they are out there, encouraging women that pregnancy and birth are not a disease to be treated but a natural process to be supported. That we as women know more about our bodies then an insurer or hospital policy maker. That lawsuits shouldn't dictate the type of care we receive. That we shouldn't live by fear-based philosophies treating every symptom as a worst-case scenario. That we are made to do this and do it without intervention.

I was told that Oregon legislature recently started questioning whether VBAC's, along with breech births and twin births, should even be allowed to be done in a free standing birth center or at home. But seeing how hospitals and OB's rarely allow these type of births to happen naturally at all, what they are really saying is that these births should automatically end in c-section. Nearly all midwives who deliver outside of a hospital setting will say they have a very high success rate with these types of births. Limiting a woman's choice in how she births does not make it safer. Allowing a woman freedom to choose and trust in her own body creates the best opportunity for a healthy and safe birth for both mama and baby.

(Me and my wonderful midwives)

Support your local midwives.
ICAN -- info about c-sections and VBAC support
State by state guide to midwifery

Bits and pieces

2010-04-19T14:57:00.000-07:00

We are in love...

(The night Gavin was born, my sister gave me a Lisa Leonard necklace engraved with all 3 of my boys' initials. I'll treasure it forever.)

He's here

2010-04-16T13:45:00.000-07:00

Gavin Frederick

Born Wednesday April 14, 2010 at 6:25pm

6 lbs 14 oz and 20 3/4 in.

He's beautiful and peaceful and fills us with so much love and joy. We are snuggling in bed and enjoying every moment of it. Back soon with more details.

Waiting...

2010-04-07T18:35:00.000-07:00

(Our wheat berries we planted last week)

Life goes on even when we are waiting for a big event. Baby is still snug inside. I don't think he realizes his due date has come and gone. The car seat is installed, his itty bitty clothes are washed and ready to be worn, and the blankets are set aside just waiting to wrap him up. The boys are really excited to meet their little brother and I'm ready to kiss his little feet, counting toes as I go.

His time inside is almost over and even though I get excited with every contraction knowing it could be time, I'm also trying to enjoy the last bump to my ribs and the tiny foot that makes my belly so lopsided. And while I know the hardest work is still to come, I cannot wait to have him here with us.

(We thought it would be funny for little Red and Chicky to grow some hair, so we planted some for them.)

Easter

2010-04-03T10:58:00.001-07:00

Keeping it simple this year. No Easter egg baskets filled with candy and toys. No big Easter egg hunts or the Easter bunny. Just a few humble eggs in a basket (naturally plant-dyed from this kit).

And a stone being rolled away from a grave. A quiet gesture to illustrate a point... that Jesus has risen!

He's ALIVE!

Happy Easter everyone!

Good Friday

2010-03-31T11:42:00.001-07:00

Planting our Easter garden for the table.

Letting it grow...

Then gathering rocks from outside...

to build a tomb...

to lay a King who died for us.

Good Friday

_________________

And then we planted seeds...

for hope of new life to come.

Reusable snack bags

2010-03-24T08:47:00.001-07:00

I've been spending a lot of time in my sewing room this past week and I finished these little bags up just yesterday. We have to take our snacks with us most places but I get tired of carrying around plastic bags which we just throw away. So I found an easy tutorial online for reusable fabric bags and now I have a nice little stash growing.

I used tea towel material for the outside (from the fabric store, or an old tea towel would work perfectly too!) and unbleached muslin on the inside. To close the bag I used velcro but a drawstring would be just as useful. It's a great size for small hands and fits our snacks perfectly. And easy to toss in the wash when they get dirty.

Baby wearing boys

2010-03-19T12:40:00.000-07:00

We brought up all the baby boxes from our basement last week. Neatly packed away were baby blankets, clothes, socks, and every other baby essential we ever used for the boys. We've been slowly unpacking them, remembering who wore what and when, and "oh do you remember when so and so used that!". Boxes full of memories that will only be added to when this new little boy arrives.

In one of the boxes was a Waldorf doll that we had bought for Ian when I was pregnant with Sawyer. He was barely two at the time and in typical 2-year-old boy fashion, he threw the doll across the room not looking at it twice. We kept it around for awhile but it never really got more than a cursory glance from him.

Last week, he grabbed it out of the box as fast as he could and asked what the doll was for. Ever since, he's carried the baby around, made a little bed for him, and makes sure he's taken care of.

Since I know we'll be wearing this new baby after he's born most of the time, I decided to make a couple baby slings for the boys so they could wear their "babies" as well. Ian was so excited when I told him that this is how Dad carried them.

The pattern is from Amanda Soule's book, sized down for kids. I repurposed some yellow curtains since the fabric was sturdy and then added a little color with extra pieces I had laying around. No cost to me but something new for the boys.

We are currently in waiting mode. He can come any time but I know it can still be a couple of weeks away. Trying to enjoy the last of this pregnancy while dreaming of what our life will be like with 3 little boys. In the meantime, we are ready for him and I have a lot of sewing projects to keep my busy.

Eating for two

2010-03-09T21:20:00.000-08:00

I'm into the last 4 weeks of this pregnancy (till due date anyway!) and I'm finding this third time around to be the hardest. I'm well into my 30's now and it makes a difference in how I physically feel carrying this baby. Having two active little boys keeps me going which is good because I fear my natural tendency would be to lay down and rest continually.

The biggest change this time is my eating. While the choices I'm making are very similar to Sawyer's pregnancy, this time I'm 100% gluten free and about 75% dairy free. ( I've found butter and small amounts of cheese seem to settle just fine in my tummy so I have them occasionally). A few weeks ago I realized my normal eating habits were slipping because of tiredness and cravings. I settled for things I wouldn't normally and even ate a bite of gluten (regular bread!) here and there. I realized that my energy was severely waning, my digestion was poor, my skin was breaking out, and I was miserable.

So I brought back the green smoothies. Something I've been doing for a good 2 years now and the thing that I crave almost daily. I was shocked at the difference I had been feeling without them for a couple of weeks. The one thing about eating a clean diet is that trying to go back and enjoy something processed not only disappoints me greatly because it's never as good as what I remember, but it also sends my stomach and digestion into fits.

Our green smoothies vary from day to day and what I have on hand. I find I have to go grocery shopping twice a week to keep up with the veggies and fruit but again, worth it. I usually start them the same way:

-hemp milk or homemade almond milk as the base
-a banana or two
-lately I've added a spoonful of peanut butter or almond butter for extra protein
-frozen fruit like strawberries, blueberries, mango etc.
-a super food like chia seeds or goji berries
-and lots and lots of spinach, I just stuff the rest of the blender full of it.

The boys love the smoothies although they enjoy the fresh juiced veggies a little more if you can believe it. Either way, I try to keep it a part of our daily diet. I've found this works for me as a way to always get lots of raw greens in.

The rest of our diet consists of beans and legumes, gluten-free grains like quinoa and rice, all vegetables, cooked and raw, nuts and seeds, fruit, and many variations of these foods. We only eat meat about once a week at home so most everything I make is either vegetarian or vegan.

I have varied from this but again I notice a big difference in my energy level and moods. So to keep me happy I have to put the effort in, even at 36 + weeks pregnant. But my favorite, above everything else, is my green smoothie. I love it and it loves me back.

Lambing season

2010-03-04T07:42:00.000-08:00

The boys and I took a 4 hour road trip yesterday to visit a sheep barn during lambing season. I debated about going... the program is only open 3 weeks out of the year so I knew this was our last chance but I AM pretty pregnant at this point so I just wasn't sure. But the adventurer got the better of me and we packed up early and set out. And we were not disappointed!

Sweet baby lambs, newly born, huddled close to their mamas.

The boys loved watching them...

And feeding the mamas.

They were encouraging the babies to come get a bite but they preferred mama's warm milk and no amount of hand gestures seemed to entice them away.

Everywhere we looked there were lambs tucked into the straw sleeping.

And a llama with funny teeth who wondered about all the attention.

Ian begged for the camera and spent a good part of the time taking his own pictures, like this one. Note to self... get the kid a used digital camera.

I couldn't resist this mama... she looked so happy to be laying about with her babies. Doesn't she look like she's smiling?

The land was beautiful and made us all dream of a little bit of space of our own where the boys can run and outdoor play would be endless.

Ian talked the whole way home about wanting to be a farmer and take care of his own animals. Either that or policeman he says. Whatever you want baby.

I think we'll be back here next year when lambing season comes again.

Februaryness

2010-02-25T09:00:00.000-08:00

Feeling
The rain all around us.

Enjoying
Two recent Goodwill finds - a near-perfect wedding ring quilt for a few dollars and a new mug (with nettles tea... oh so good for pregnancy).

Reading
A new stash of library books. And I'm really enjoying them.

Seeing
Eloise try and sleep while the boys run around her yelling and playing.

Thinking about

Homeschool perspectives and loving her thoughts
Acquiring more of these
Remembering this, always
How much the boys would LOVE to be here

Dreaming about

A bedroom in white
A cozy kitchen with a blue table
A window seat I could spend all day in
A brick wall fireplace
An outdoor space that makes me happy
Another kitchen I want to cook in

Knitting 101... try, try again.

2010-02-18T14:10:00.000-08:00

I'm realizing, not too late I hope, that everything that's worth learning takes time and sometimes involves many do-overs. With knitting, I find that I have to start over more often than I'd like to but I just tell myself that it's one more lesson learned and next time it will be easier. This was one of those times when I thought I knew what I was doing but the finished product turned out pretty bad. I mentioned before that I was working on a bulky blanket for the baby. It's pretty straight forward and I've been knitting for awhile now so I didn't think there would be any problems.

The biggest hitch came when I was knitting the green edge in the round. Meaning that I used circular needles so I couldn't see the shape of the blanket until I was completely done with it. And this is what I saw when it was all finished... ruffled edges because two of the sides had twice as many stitches as the other. I knew right away what I had done and it's a rookie mistake which is frustrating when my time to sit and knit is so precious. The blanket is supposed to be perfectly square but as you can see it was not.

And each of the corners were off kilter and looking more rounded then square. I put it away for the night but decided I loved the blanket and yarn enough that it was worth another attempt.

Thankfully I had just bought a new yarn winder a couple of days before so taking out my work was easy. No loose yarn to deal with and wind back up by hand.

Once I got back to two perfect skeins of green yarn I cast on again and started over. It was much easier this time to pick up the stitches on the uneven sides which is where I went wrong the first time. It's easy to edge something when you are following the next stitch on a pattern... not so easy on the sides of the pattern where it's less obvious where the next stitch will go. And that was my problem.

But a day and a half later, baby's blanket is finished... correctly.

I love the way the pattern calls to fold over the edging and bind off which not only makes the edge thicker but also cleans up the look.

Each corner squared out nicely. The yarn is an incredibly soft wool/organic cotton blend from Spud and Chloe. I used the Outer yarn in Flannel for the bulk of the blanket and the Sweater yarn in Grass for the edge. The best part is that it's washable.

Sawyer says he approves and I hope baby G will love it also. Only 6 1/2 weeks to go!

Birthday in pictures

2010-02-15T13:23:00.001-08:00

Our earlier crafts...Window stars hanging just below the birthday sign.

And star lanterns made of watercolors painted by the boys.

Guests dressed in their finest

And new baby cousins to squeeze and kiss

Lots of help unwrapping the presents

Wonderful gifts, handmade and bought, that will get a lot of love.

Blowing out 5 candles this year

And becoming Indiana Jones.

A perfect birthday.

birthdays and birds

2010-02-12T10:00:00.000-08:00

Valentine's Day? Around here it's known as Ian's birthday. We've gladly pushed the chocolate-giving, love-enducing holiday to another time. Every year I think about doing Valentine's crafts but the bigger of the events takes over and we never seem to mind. So this week we've been planning menus and thinking of birthday decorations that we want to have around the house. We are celebrating with family and friends tomorrow morning and there is a lot of excitement in the air.

Donuts are out the window (the smell of heated oil was too much for me... ick. And gluten-free dough just doesn't have the same hold as regular flour dough and the combination did me in). Instead we are doing muffins and salads and egg dishes, lots of coffee, and a huge chocolate cake to top it off.

We've been busy with little birthday crafts here and there.... watercolors...

tissue paper and glue....

and they are turning out pretty cute. (Finished craft pictures to come...)

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The other event that's happening this weekend (no, not the Olympics although I'm giddy they are starting too). It's the Great Backyard Bird Count. We started it last year and we've carved out 15 minutes today to just sit and watch. We've got our bird books, hoping to identify some of them, but mostly hoping to see a few even though it's raining. It only takes 15 minutes and a few moments online to add your own bird count and then it gets included in the national total.

Birthday planning

2010-02-02T13:34:00.000-08:00

We are beginning to plan for a birthday party around here. Ian will be 5 in 12 short days! He helped me write his invitations this morning and we've spent the past week talking about food and cakes (chocolate for sure... and he's adamant about it). We've decided on a late morning/ early lunch get-together and we knew right away that donuts must be on the menu. It will be an easy run to the donut shop for everyone else and for those of us with gluten intolerances, I will be making some homemade ones. I'm sure the boys won't be too upset to try my practice donuts this week. We almost have a 5 year old in the house!

And if today couldn't get any better with talks of birthdays and donuts... the sun is out. The windows are open and we are soaking in the sun and the fresh air. Our chickens were happy to have some company in the yard and clucked around our feet picking at bugs and grass. I know it's a few months away still... but Spring is definitely in the air today.

Cornmeal and quilts

2010-01-29T09:11:00.001-08:00

Reason # 52 why I love my Vitamix: in a pinch, making cornmeal out of popcorn. Perfect.

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And after 4 hours at the fabric store I finally picked out my fabrics for my quilt. I never expected it to take me so long but it was really worth it. I'm excited to start cutting out the squares and rectangles and start to see the top come together. Hoping it all looks as good together when it's sewn as it does in my head.

Life list for 2010

2010-01-25T08:14:00.000-08:00

(Gluten-free crepes. Delicious.)*

January 25th and I'm just now thinking about what I'd like to do for this year. I think it takes me longer than most to actually get moving on something. I tend to think of an idea, let it roll around in my head for 6 months, and then start to move on it. I don't usually make New Year's resolutions because there's nothing important about the date to make me stick them out. Plus, I'm usually recovering from the holidays and all I want to do is rest my brain for awhile.

But now that January is almost over and I've had time to sit and think about 2010, the ideas are coming. If there is one thing I have learned since becoming a mama, is that life is ours to make. I spent so much of my early adult years, married with no kids, worried about life and the future and getting caught up in what we had and didn't have.

From the first moment Ian was born and the years after, I have realized my thoughts on life, on our life, have changed dramatically. One thing I know for certain is that I'm doing exactly what I've dreamed of. Being a stay-at-home mama to 2 (almost 3!) boys and wanting to spend every moment with them and Jeremy. I don't dream of a daytime job, I don't dream of a ministry in the church or elsewhere, I don't wish my days away wanting to get out of the house or needing something to keep me from getting bored. I realize we have the freedom to make our days exactly what we want. And how my greatest wish for all of us is that we embrace living and enjoy it all, no matter how hard life may seem or how happy the current moment is. This is my life, my family. Every morning is ours to live, ours to be happy, ours to grab hold of and I plan on making it the best I can.

So with that in mind... my inspired list for 2010:

1. Have a baby! (See? Starting out positive with something I know I can do)
2. Get to the library every week
3. Take more weekend trips around Oregon, especially the coast.
4. Read more books
5. Learn to knit with double point needles for hats and socks
6. Sew more
7. Take more walks around our neighborhood
8. Get outside, even in the rainy winter and spring
9. Bake more
10. Visit more sites around town, especially with the boys
11. Take more pictures
12. Try new restaurants
13. Learn the names of wildflowers
14. Learn more about herbs and how to use them
15. Say Yes more often!
16. Laugh more
17. Live knowing that every day, in all we do, is about learning and education
18. Begin a homeschooling/unschooling plan for the fall
19. Make more crepes *

Just to name a few... I seem to come up with new things often so we'll see how the list grows over the year.

January days

2010-01-22T08:46:00.000-08:00

Sitting here drinking my hot cup of decaf coffee with plenty of cream and a splash of stevia... just the way I like it. Missing Jeremy and Ian who left very early yesterday morning for a trip across the country to northern NY to visit family. I know they are having fun and being spoiled by Grandma and Grandpa, building snowmen in the yard, and seeing the place Ian was born and the apartment where we first brought him home to. This is the longest I've been away from Ian but I realize that it's also the first time I've had such devoted time with Sawyer who will be a big 3 years old this spring.

I'm joining Randi over at her blog on her quilt-along project. I thought it would be such a perfect time to make my first quilt and keep me even busier while we wait for baby to come. In 6 weeks I'll have a new throw quilt for our couch and if I have a love affair with any thing... it's blankets to snuggle up with on the couch. Sawyer amazed me yesterday when he happily spent 3 hours with me at the fabric store. I'm not sure how he'll react when we go back today but I was too tired and brain-fatigued to continue yesterday. I just couldn't figure out how to coordinate 10 different fabrics in the colors I wanted. But I have a good theme going now, adding a few fabrics that I already had at home, so I just need 4 more and I'm done. Ready to being week one on Monday!

Baby is doing really well. He's growing like crazy and likes to keep me up at night. There are moments when I feel glad that I have a couple more months before he's here to plan and organize. But more often than not, I wish he were already here, nestled in my arms and wanting to nurse. I can't wait to kiss his cheek and breathe in his baby smell. I feel like he's a joy to us already.

Belly is big. I'm closer now to 30 weeks than I am to 29 and that amazes me. I'm so thankful for a healthy pregnancy and I'm anticipating a great birth too. I'm working on a bulky blanket for him and I have plans for a few more things as the weeks go on.

In the meantime, Sawyer and I have some fun to plan (other than our 2nd fabric store trip that is). I'll be updating my book list for 2010 soon... seriously rough start to the year in trying to finish some books I started. And maybe, maybe I'll get to writing more on here which is my goal. Social networking sites aren't exactly how I want to spend my online time anymore since it's so few and far between these days. There's just so many things to make and do and read. Plus, thoughts of homeschooling are starting to make their way in to my days since I have a soon-to-be five year old that will officially be starting our version of kindergarten in the fall. So, plenty to keep me busy and it's all making life very, very good.

January stars

2010-01-09T10:29:00.000-08:00

I felt like January needed a little pick-me-up. I always think that it must feel a bit of a letdown after all the lights and decorations of December. So I picked up my crochet hooks and started crocheting. Before I knew it I had a good stack of stars sitting next to me (pattern here). I hung them in my kitchen.

Just beneath my jars...

It makes me happy to see a little more color in there. I think little Red agrees.

Looking back... 2009

2010-01-01T17:19:00.000-08:00

Some of my favorite moments throughout the last year:

January

February
March

April
May
June
July
August
September
October
November
December

Looking forward to 2010 and all the possibilities, new adventures, chaotic moments, and amazing memories that are coming.

Handmade Christmas

2009-12-28T10:21:00.000-08:00

Another Christmas is over and our tree came down yesterday. But there's evidence of it everywhere still... wrapping paper found crumbled up on the floor and new toys still being discovered and played with. I have a feeling this will last a good while.

This year we decided it would be fun, and a bit challenging, to make each other a Christmas present. We made it as simple as we wanted and it was really fun trying to imagine what the other person was going to come up with. What I didn't expect was how much we all enjoyed the process. I worried that it might make the Christmas season more hectic since it took more time to hand-make something than it does the buy a gift. But it didn't, the whole month actually felt more peaceful and less rushed. A tradition has definitely been born. Here's a glimpse of our handmade Christmas...

Jeremy took the hand drawings he did with the boys (blogged about here) and had them printed on t-shirts. They instantly recognized them and love them so much I think we may continue this idea through out the year with their drawings.

I made big floor pillows for each of the boys (another pic here)... something they could easily grab to read a book on or to watch a movie. I found the perfect fabric thanks to Randi at I have to say. I used the 5 different fabrics for the top piece and then cut up two terry-cloth towels for the bottom. I wanted a sturdy fabric that could get dirty from being on the floor but one that was also soft and easy to wash. The towel fabric overlaps in the back so it can easily be removed for washing.

The boys got in on it too. Ian made Jeremy a plane with wheels that can stand and Sawyer fashioned a trumpet out of paper and a paper towel roll.

Jeremy made me a "mama" collage. His favorite pictures of me pregnant, nursing, and holding our babies. I cried... it's incredibly humbling and moving to see myself from his perspective.

I knitted him a scarf (a bit cliche but he really needed one!)... knit in a seed stitch pattern in charcoal grey. I think it looks like metal and he wears it very, very well.

Lastly... Jeremy's mom did it again. Her raw talent amazes me and she has given us a gift we will treasure for life. Sawyer at 2 years old, drawn from this picture. Thank you so much Grandma!

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And a few pictures from our Christmas morning...

Hope your Christmas was just as amazing. On to New Years!

Christmas morning

2009-12-25T10:13:00.000-08:00

Advent... the last candle is lit...
and the last ornament, a star, was placed on our Jesse Tree.
JESUS IS BORN!

Merry Christmas... from our house to yours.

Eve of Christmas Eve...

2009-12-23T10:49:00.000-08:00

If only we had a little bit of the East Coast's snow right now. We're dreaming of last year when it snowed for days and gave us a beautiful white Christmas. I keep hoping we'll be surprised and wake up to a little dusting here and there but I don't think it will happen. We are enjoying every bit of December though with plenty of things going on.

We had cousins over to decorate (gluten-free, dairy-free!) cookies. The table was covered in frosting and little shiny bits of topping in every color. We had dinner and cider and lots of Christmas music. It makes me so thankful for family...

Sawyer insisted on red and doing it all himself.

I think he enjoyed it, even if he had to choke his way through the sprinkles.

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The presents are ready and nearly all wrapped. We tried to keep it simple this year as far as our gift giving. New books are ALWAYS on the list.

And a few handmade things that I'm so happy about it (more on them after the big day!).

And little gifts sent across the country to family far away.

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The boys are counting down the days... Ian especially. Most of our mornings are spent bundled up with a blanket (around the heating vent) by the tree and reading or drawing or pretending to hang Luke up by his legs in the wampa cave. Eloise takes swipes at our legs or toes, whichever is closest. I love these days.

Decemberings...

2009-12-15T14:05:00.000-08:00

Lots of gold tucked into corners. A new Christmas village on our mantle. It's little and glittery and I made it myself. I loved this idea for the "snow" and found a perfect tablecloth for the job.

Our Christmas tree star found at an antique shop is rusted in places and very, very much loved.

This year we've decided to make gifts for each other. Nothing too difficult, something within our creative range, and it can be as simple as it needs to be. I'm almost done with the my gift for the boys, Jeremy's working on his, and the boys came up with some great ideas to make for Dad. We've also been working on some smaller gifts for family. It requires lots of soapy water and felt roving.

It's messy, I won't lie. But the boys love it and I don't mind mopping up the floor afterward.

Christmas is happening everywhere we look. Only 10 days left!

Thanksgiving time

2009-11-29T08:45:00.000-08:00

The days after Thanksgiving mean eating pumpkin pie by candlelight at 11 am... just because.

...insisting on playing outside in just a diaper because clothing is so overrated, even in 55 degree weather.

And drawing time with Dad. Whole scenarios can be played out on paper...

While Dad's drawing of a Clone Trooper, R2D2, and a Boba Fett head get new bodies from Ian.

We had a full week off with Jeremy, a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with family, and lots and lots of time together. So much fun and many memories of our last Thanksgiving as a family of 4! We are soaking it in, knowing next year a new little personality will be here to join in the fun. Hope your Thanksgiving was just as peaceful.

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Advent begins today! Candles are up and ready for the first lighting tonight. So excited for this month and all it will bring.

Eloise

2009-11-18T07:45:00.001-08:00

I couldn't resist. The thought was too strong for my hormone-laden mind to ignore. We all missed him so much that another cat seemed like the right thing to do. And this time, a kitten!

This is little Eloise Eva. She is 12 weeks old and a little spitfire. I was unsure at first if I was up for it... or rather her. She talked constantly and wouldn't let us sleep. But then slowly, her little lap naps and soft purring won us over and she's here to stay for good.

We got her for free from a woman that seemed to love her and wanted her to go to a good home. Eloise was one of two left in a litter of six babies. Ian went with me to pick her up and on our way home I realized that she was infested with fleas. The next morning I discovered she had a bad case of worms. She spent the first night in our bathroom which didn't settle well with her... she was scared and lonely. But by the next day, after the flea medicine kicked in and after many many little grooming sessions with me and a comb, she began to feel better. She's completely free of her little problems, both inside and out, and I can tell it's made a big difference. She's also putting on weight. She was only 1-1/2 lbs and very skinny but she's eating enough to make up for what she lost so I have no doubt she'll be plump and happy soon.

She's soaking up the attention now. She jumps into any lap that's available and her constant talking has softened to just the occasionally meow when she's hungry. Ian picked out her middle name Eva. He said she reminded him of the girl robot in Wall-E who was white and black with blue eyes. It suits her just fine.

Welcome home Eloise Eva.

Halloween love and the aftermath

2009-11-02T08:10:00.000-08:00

Superman and a Storm Trooper ventured out Saturday night to find some candy. It was so cute to see their faces when we walked up to these houses that we see everyday, knocked on the door, and were given candy. We made it to about 8 houses and then they both declared they were ready to go home. I think they were more excited about digging into their candy stash rather than getting more.

Ian as Luke Skywalker dressed as a Storm Trooper. And he means serious business when this costume is on.

We stopped by Papa's and Grandma's house first and practiced knocking on their door before the real work began. It was a successful Halloween!

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And now that we have handfuls of candy lying around.... Did you know that sugar suppresses the immune system? Having the equivalent of one can of soda (8 tbsp of sugar) can depress the immune system by 40% for hours... up to 7 hours in fact. So let's say you have some form of sugar for breakfast, your immune system may only be functioning at 60% for the entire day. That leaves you vulnerable to all sorts of germs and viruses. And that's assuming you only have 8 tbsps of sugar all day. Add more soda, a piece of candy, some coffee cake, a mocha... and suddenly your system is suppressed continually. That makes it really hard for your body to function at it's best during the sick season.

We've been fighting some cough-runny nose-thing this entire last week. We've been keeping it at bay and it's been pretty mild so I debated on whether to let the boys have the candy from Halloween. I was worried that the work the herbs and veggies and vitamin D we've been doing would be undermined by the sugar. But they hardly ever eat traditional candy and they were so excited that we decided to let them have some. And of course, then I had some because I just couldn't resist a little Milky Way bar (or two) that was sitting next to me.

Then last night I realized that this cough and runny nose I had held at bay was hitting me full force. Being pregnant, my immune system is weaker anyway, then add in pure sugar and suddenly there's not much to keep the little germs from invading. My head is full, my nose is running, and I cough constantly. Ian is doing about the same.

So today I brought out the veggies and decided we had to add some nutrients back in. We've spent the past month going between juicing our veggies and fruits and making smoothies with them. This morning I decided to use the juicer and went with apples, lemon, romaine lettuce, fresh ginger, and 2 beets.

The boys love to help with the juicer and I know this gets them excited about drinking their vegetables.

Their favorite part is watching the different colors of juice pouring out in the bowl. "It's GREEN! It's RED!"

Then we immediately drink up, not even bothering to clean first, to maximize all the enzymes and nutrients the juice gives.

Today was red mustaches thanks to the beets!

Ian is a really good eater but Sawyer is not, he's as picky as they come. But somehow, he loves the juice we make with our veggies and fruit. The boys know it's made of vegetables and they know vegetables keep them healthy. It's my goal to keep it fun but real and I don't think you get more real than drinking beet juice.

This juice was good, tart, but good. I love the way it makes me feel and I'm hoping our colds will be gone very soon because of it.

Our days

2009-10-30T08:30:00.000-07:00

... are waking up in warm flannel sheets

... in bunk beds in the room that's been shared since August. (Sawyer sleeps on the top, Ian on the bottom- they worked that out themselves)

... reading the Fall and Winter books that have been put away since last March

... playing in the leaves and making Dad rake them over and over again

... enjoying the vibrant red on our Japanese Maple out back

... forgetting about the rain boots out in the rain

...crocheting and knitting every evening

... making pumpkin faces with paper and seeing them glow inside when it's grey outside

... playing "action-figure bowling"

... with rain boots on of course, just in case we get a chance to run outside.

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Thank you all for the baby boy congratulations! We can already see him here with us and that makes it hard to wait 5 more months. And it doesn't hurt that I'm feeling MUCH better and the holidays are almost here! Hope you are enjoying the Fall things around you.

The boys' turn to share

2009-10-19T10:48:00.000-07:00

It's true! We found out this past week that we are expecting another BOY!!!! (Although I realized after making the signs that "on his way" could be interpreted as possibly soon, it won't be for another 6 months until we get to see his little face.) We decided to go in for an impromptu sonogram because we were all curious about whether a little boy or a little girl would be joining our family. And we are so excited to know! He was so little in there but everything about him was perfect. We saw each individual finger and he would push his arms up above his head and then jump with his little feet. Absolutely beautiful. His little profile was perfect and we both thought right away that it reminded us of Ian's and Sawyer's profile pics. Here's his profile, facing up:

We can't believe we get to have another one of these boys. We can't wait to meet him and he has two VERY excited bigger brothers who want to know what he will be like. I can almost picture him sitting on the steps with them. What fun life is going to be like with 3 little boys running around. They will all three be teenagers together and we hope, the best of friends. How lucky are we that we get three handsome, gentle, sweet-natured, full-of-life boys to surround ourselves with. Keep growing strong little one... we'll be kissing you someday soon!

We're back and it's Fall!

2009-10-16T17:49:00.000-07:00

Our Maui vacation was exactly as expected... relaxing and busy... wet and sandy... warm and breathtaking. We swam and played on the beach, we read books, and ate delicious food. I ate more fish in that week than my entire life combined I believe. And by the end of the eight days, the boys were so encrusted with sand it was hard to tell where their hairline began. They loved it, of course. We were a bit worn out because vacation with two young boys is well.. busy. But the memories are awesome and I love that we made some there.

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And we came back to Fall! The weather was very cold when we flew back home but the sun was shining and that makes all the difference. I'm happy to be back where I need to wrap up warm when I go outside and where the leaves are almost off the plum tree that was still bearing fruit before we left. The colors are amazing and remind me of why I love this time of year so much. This is what we've been doing since we've been back....

Painting autumn trees of our own.

Spending our mornings playing many games of "Let's Go Fishing".

And our afternoons making a craft. Today they sorted through buttons to look for all the colors of Fall.

Then they took turns threading them with string...

and making sure they were on tightly.
When they were finished we hung them from the tree branch in our family room.

And lastly... we picked pumpkins from our own garden! They started from a single seed that we had found sprouting in our compost bin. We planted it just to see what would happen and it took over our strawberries, basil, and lettuce reaching past 8 feet in every direction. But we got two beautiful pumpkins that sit perfectly on our porch. (Sawyer in full "smile" mode!)

Aloha

2009-09-30T20:17:00.001-07:00

We're putting the rain boots away because tomorrow morning we fly away to Hawaii! Eight days in the sun, feeling the sand between our toes, and trying our best to not to get a sunburn. And oh yeah... did I mention the food? And the luaus? And the volcano?

See you next week!

Our newly painted house

2009-09-25T10:47:00.000-07:00

Here are the before and after pics of our home! We are so happy with how it all turned out. The men who installed the trim were very meticulous and careful considering they had to saw the trim design into the siding. And the painter did an amazing job to make the whole thing come together. We decided on a Kendall Charcoal from Benjamin Moore and Pear Green from BM for the door. We love the way it pops!

House front before:

House front after:

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House side front before:

House side front after:

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Porch side before:
Porch side after:____________

Porch right side before:

Porch right side after with honeysuckle arbor:

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Back of house before:

Back of house after:

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Trim detail:

Is this thing on????

2009-09-15T04:08:00.000-07:00

Thank you all for the wonderful congratulations on our news! We are so happy and feel very blessed to be expecting another baby. It's hard to believe it's been 2 weeks since I posted last but things seem to pile up when you don't feel well. But it looks like even that is slowly changing. I'm having more good days then bad now so I think we are turning a corner!

My sleep could use a little improving however.... I've been awake since 3am and figured what better time to catch up on a blog post! Better to get something done then just lay in bed staring at the ceiling. I had this same issue in Sawyer's pregnancy... I wake up during the night and it takes a couple hours to get back to sleep. Good thing I can adjust my mornings and lay low for awhile.

But life has been good! The boys are as active as ever and we are coming up with all kinds of things to keep busy. The weather is changing and we have warmer days and cooler days. I'm really looking forward to the colder weather, warm soups, and blankets curled up on the couch.

In the meantime though, we are getting outside and making the most of our warmer weather. We've taken hikes with silly boys...

Made water stations out on the back deck so little Lego men and Transformers can go swimming.

The boys have enjoyed dinner out with Dad on a few occasions while mama sleeps.

And there's been a lot of music being played lately. Jeremy's obtained a new music area now that Sawyer and Ian are sharing a room. The boys grab their guitars every time Dad does and it makes for some very creative music.

And it finally dawned on me to ask Jeremy to teach me chords on the piano so I could play something... anything. I've had a few lessons over the years, just enough that I've picked it up pretty quickly this time and now I can play a good list of worship songs. I love being able to sit and play and sing.

So all is well in our little world. And I've taken pictures of our newly painted house... it's been done for about a month now. (I KNOW... I've been horrible with the updates). For those of you that have been asking, I promise I'll get them up soon. Everything turned out amazing and we love the new colors!

Back to bed for me... maybe I can fall asleep for a couple of hours before the boys wake up...

Spring arrival

2009-09-01T09:01:00.000-07:00

In the last few weeks I've nursed a few of these jars...

Spent my free time here...

... and taken lots of naps. But it's all worth it because tucked away inside of me is a little baby. A baby!

Yesterday, the four of us crowded into the doctor's office for the ultrasound. We saw a perfect little baby with little arms and legs. We even got a few wiggles out of him/her! It was fascinating especially since a couple of weeks ago all we could make out was the beautiful flashing of the heartbeat. The boys are so excited and ask us all the time when the baby is coming out. It will be a long winter for them I'm sure. Little baby should be here around April 5th.

The sickness has been worse this pregnancy then the ones before. I'm counting down the weeks until the first trimester is over and hopefully I'll start feeling better. Jeremy has been amazing. He's picked up the slack, making sure we're all taken care of and spending lots of extra time with Ian and Sawyer. The boys are understanding and know when mama needs to rest on the couch and they let me, without any complaints.

It's amazing how seeing the little baby can lift my spirit and help me look past the nausea. It never ceases to amaze me how miraculous this entire process is and it humbles me that I get to experience it again. And that by next spring, I'll be holding another little baby of ours. We love you already little one.

Little baby at 9 weeks:

Learning at home

2009-08-24T08:37:00.000-07:00

Ian came to me when he was 3, just before his 4th birthday, and asked me if I would show him how to write his name. Sure! I thought and sat down to go over each letter and write a dotted version for him to copy. He skipped over all of it and just wrote his name. Plain and simple. Since then, he's been a writing maniac. He's taught himself most all the letters just by copying them out of books. Throughout the day he asks me how to spell certain words and then writes them over and over again. Sometimes he writes them backwards, sometimes they are split in half because he runs out of paper, and sometimes he just makes up words like he's writing a whole story.

About 2 months ago he asked me if I would teach him how to read. My sister gave me her old Bob books and we sat down to look at them. He has less patience for reading but he gets it quickly. He can easily read the first couple books in that simple series and has started rhyming words in his spare time. "Hey Mom... COAT GOAT!"

It's amazing to me because I decided long ago, when he was really little, that my goal with them wouldn't be to teach them how to read at a young age, but to focus on manners and attitudes. Because, I always thought, who cares when you begin reading as long as you get it some time. But manners are something that can easily be over looked in the frenzy of early childhood education.

Plus, about a year ago something really began stirring inside me that I couldn't ignore anymore. I had to look at it from every angle, decide what it all meant, how it would look, and ultimately... what would Jeremy think. I really... really... wanted to homeschool.

I prayed about it and we'd have discussions about what that would look like and what it would mean for the boys. Jeremy was unsure and I knew his reasons why. They had been the same reservations I had had before. But slowly, our perspectives started changing and we started seeing how good it could be. We read this book and became even more convinced that we wanted to offer something different to the boys.

Another aspect that appealed to me was unschooling... especially in the early years. I wanted the boys to be children. To not have the stress of homework, to not have to sit in a chair for hours on end but to have the freedom to study or play with what they wanted. The other part of unschooling that attracted me went along with what I mentioned above. That I wasn't going to pressure Ian into learning his letters. I wanted him to show interest whenever that happened to be and I had prepared myself for a long wait and possibly years of hearing parents talk about their 4 year olds reading while my 7 year still didn't. But funny how things happen... when Ian has space to think and be creative, space that's not taken up with the TV or being entertained, he shows interest in learning.

I hadn't planned on starting any type of "school" this year but instead wait until next year when Ian would have started kindergarten. He, however, has different plans and wants to learn now. Which ultimately is part of the unschooling philosphy... that life should be spent learning, not just during school hours, but that we are constantly learning every day of our lives.

"Birds fly, fish swim, man thinks and learns. Therefore, we do not need to motivate children into learning by wheedling, bribing or bullying. We do not need to keep picking away at their minds to make sure they are learning. What we need to do, and all we need to do, is bring as much of the world as we can into the school and classroom (in our case, into their lives); give children as much help and guidance as they ask for; listen respectfully when they feel like talking; and then get out of the way. We can trust them to do the rest."

-John Holt, How Children Learn

So this is the beginning of our journey into homeschooling. We are really excited about it and where it will take us. We live in a city that is full of life, culture, and experiences. I'm excited for the boys to meet people of all ages and backgrounds while we run errands. To have the freedom to explore and touch and interact with things on their level and on their own time. To learn music and to play sports and not have it crammed in to an already full day of hourly classes in a classroom. To watch them be creative and have space to experiment with it. To have time to be quiet and not fill every hour of their day with busy things. And I'm most excited to be there to watch it all happen.

Life and vacations

2009-08-14T09:07:00.000-07:00

Sitting outside while the boys play. Happy that the sun is out today, if even for a moment, but thankful for the rain that fell this week. Not feeling too well and still feeling sad about our Henry. Thinking about the coming months and what they will bring.

It's important to change and move with life. I know this but it's never easy. I really do love feeling content. But little things move, they flow in and out as days go by. So we make little adjustments to move with it.

It means cutting back on our spending. Letting go of our one hundred tv channels to find contentment in just the few. To eat at home more and enjoy our own company. But realizing that even though we have to cut back on our spending habits, our house is (nearly!) painted and we've avoided further problems by waiting another year.

It means thinking that our 4 year old has finally learned a lesson in yelling only to have to sit down with him again and again. Repetition, quiet voices, gentle reprimands to calm the storm. That he has to be mindful of everything he says and how he says it. But knowing that he is learning to speak kindly even in the midst of his outbursts. And that we must show him, by example, what that means.

And how a 2 year old whose vocabulary has consisted of new words every day, is now stuck on two phrases: "I do, I DO!" and "Mine!". It means realizing that we cannot raise these boys without prayer and without constant emotional and spiritual attention.

But I'm so thankful for it all. So thankful for God's reminders of what it means to live fully and peacefully. That He isn't content to let us just sit and be idle. He's always teaching us and providing opportunities to trust Him and to grow in Him.

***

I'm still finding pieces of our vacation lying around. A dirt-filled shoe here, an extra nap needed there. Our week away was very busy. We packed our days full of activities with only a little time at night to fit a board game in. The boys had an incredible time. Staying up late, constant company with their cousins around, lots of food, and so many opportunities to run and play. They fell asleep every night exhausted but woke up in the mornings ready to go full speed ahead.

Keeping tabs on cousin Caleb was a favorite past time of Ian's.

There were deer everywhere and like the dutiful city-folk we are, we took pictures whenever we could with however many cameras we had on hand.

We hiked and climbed our way around a couple of waterfalls. I left the picture big so you can see the teeny tiny man standing nearly underneath the fall on the right. That would be my Dad who still thinks he's invincible at 62 and loves to scare us all with his daring adventures. (Really... I can only blame my need to skydive the day before I graduated highschool on him. I get a lot of that from him.)

The boys making brownies with cousin Meagan.

Licking the spoons was the best part.

And collapsing every afternoon for a quick rest and to catch up on Shark Week.

Out of all the pictures we took, there wasn't one that turned out clearly of my 14 year old niece Meagan and I. So I included this one... blurry me and beautiful Meagan. It still makes me happy.

Losing a friend

2009-08-10T07:55:00.001-07:00

We lost a really good friend last night. Henry was hit by a car. His pelvis was too broken to repair; he had lost all feeling in his legs and the doctor wasn't sure he would ever be able to walk again even with surgery. So we made the hard decision to let him go. The 4 of us crowded in the little room to scratch his neck and tell him how much we love him. He was drowsy on pain meds but he seemed comfortable and responded to each one of our kisses.

I keep going over last night, thinking about what I could have done differently. I realize there's nothing that can be changed. I'm so very grateful to the cyclist who happened to be riding by at that moment and saw it happen. Without him, it might have been hours before we realized that something was wrong. Instead he wasn't in pain for long and for that, I'm thankful.

This morning feels hard, empty. I feel like he should be rubbing up against my leg or asking to be let outside. He was a wonderful cat, patient with the boys, and always wanting to be cuddled. We miss him terribly.

Goodbye Henry.

Joys of parenting

2009-07-31T09:27:00.000-07:00

We are leaving in the morning for our vacation. Six days in a rented house with family. Miles of trails for walking and biking, a river to glide down in canoes, late nights playing games and watching movies and of course, lots of laughing, silliness, and memory-making. In the meantime, I filled this post full of stuff, from all sides of life. Enjoy and be back next week!

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It's hard to describe the joys of parenting until you are in it. A lot of people see the fussy child in the store, the toddler who refuses to sit down during dinner in a restaurant or the 4 year old who becomes obstinate and yells at you for not buying the toy he wants. Everyone knows that side of a child. What they don't see is the piece of cake being shared between brothers... the "thank you for making me dinner" nearly every night without fail, the late night cuddles in bed, the hours and hours spent rocking a little one to sleep kissing their warm head and whispering prayers over them. And the trust they have that Dad will always catch them...

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Yesterday, the boys and I were watering the raspberry bushes and noticed that there were a lot of bumblebees bouncing from bloom to bloom. We've seen them every year but this year they seem to have doubled. I realized that most of them had pollen on their back legs that they must have been collecting over the morning. It was fascinating to see up close. I grabbed my camera and got a good clear picture of one of them. I left the picture big so you can see the pollen on his hind leg (click on it!).

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Like I would imagine most 4 1/2 year olds, Ian is completely won over by any type of superhero or gun-toting, sword-wielding person in a mask. He pretends to fight, he carries 3 different types of "guns" (different fingers you see), and is always wanting us to play dead. It's always a little shocking at first when your sweet little toddler suddenly becomes fascinated with weapons, especially when you've done what you can to keep them from seeing even remotely violent movies or cartoons. But... it's normal. It's a boy thing. And we've chosen not to fight it. We try to make sure he doesn't whip Sawyer or shoot him and we try and direct his weapon use to "snakes" or "small vermin" but it's really only because I don't want him to get over-excited and hurt his brother... not because I think he will actually become a serial killer.

He's never seen a Spiderman or Batman cartoon or movie, yet he knows who they are and what they do... somehow. Now my BIGGEST problem with this is that I really don't like him falling into the hands of marketers and wanting to buy every single toy ever made with their logo on it. I don't buy into Disney either and I really don't like him watching kid commercials because they elicit that response to consume and to always want more.

So I found an alternative that is really appropriate and funny. It's Superhero ABC. A great book with superhero personalities like Bubble Man who shoots bubbles out of his mouth and Vomit Man who vomits on villains. (Seriously... Ian loves that page). So if you're looking for a good alternative Superhero book then I recommend this one.

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Lastly... I wanted to link to a post my sister wrote earlier this week. I would love to sit and expand on it, I may, one day soon... but for now I'll link to her. She speaks her heart about gentle parenting. The comments are really honest and from all different point of views. Jeremy and I decided early on that, for example, spanking as a punishment was not what we wanted to do. We really felt like God was showing us something different and even though we aren't perfect, as you can see from the comments, we see the difference in the boys. We see how they respond to us and how peaceful our house is because of it. The post is written so graciously ... let me share one of Tonia's replies to a mama regarding her child:

"it's difficult when you are in a mind set of "power-over" or "control" parenting to accept these kinds of things, i know. we are taught that the child's obedience is the most important thing...if i am just distracting the child, i am not teaching them to obey me. (and in this kind of parenting there is tremendous pressure from other parents and christians. if my child is not obeying it is because i am not doing my job. every childish behavior is a small condemnation of my skills.) but in gentle parenting, we believe that obedience comes out of relationship. the relationship with the child is the most important thing, and so we cultivate an atmosphere of trust and value. the child has her own worth; she is a full person just as i am and does not deserve to be smacked for learning and exploring and discovering boundaries...

... again, for a certain mindset, this sounds ridiculous. it sounds as if we are catering to the children instead of our children conforming to our schedules and our family requirements. but when you consider the commands in scripture to prefer others before yourself, to lay down your life, to serve sacrificially, and when you understand that the scriptures apply to children as well as adults, it becomes easier to see."

Marionberry love

2009-07-28T06:55:00.000-07:00

We got up early one morning last week and made our way to a little farm to find marionberries. We had to walk a bit to find the berry patch but then we saw the thin vines wrapped in circles, red and black berries dropping from all sides. Really, quite beautiful.

My Grandma came with us and they all got right to work picking berries off the vines.

She gave the boys tips on picking the ripest fruit and how to carefully pull them off the vines. She grew up picking fruit and berries all summer long as a girl on her family's fruit tree farm in Idaho. She knows her varieties and when the best time to pick them is. She knows how bruised fruit can change a canning batch. And she has story after story of the women in her family getting together to can all summer long.

I realize how much of this information is lost when it's not passed down. Invaluable skills and experience about home-keeping, canning, and gardening. All that has nearly been lost because of convenience and fast food. At least around here, there seems to be some grass-root efforts to get this information back and to teach it, person to person, community to community. So it was really, really nice to learn hands-on from my Grandma and to see her teaching my boys.

After a little mishap where my clumsiness got the best of me (dropped the whole box on the ground!), we split our pickings and said goodbye. Hot marionberry crisp with cold vanilla rice ice cream for dinner... er... dessert.

And then I canned two little jars of marionberry jam with a little left over to eat from the pan. Delicious... and definitely worth a day's work.

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Thank you for all the anniversary wishes! We had a wonderful time. And the only thing I will say about us not looking like we've changed much... well... the photographer used a lot of air brushing in that last photo. :-)

A decade!

2009-07-24T13:43:00.000-07:00

Ten years ago today on July 24, 1999 at 6:00 in the evening, I married my best friend. What I couldn't have known then was how much more in love I would be with him now. Even though life has been rough at times, we are happy, very happy, and that feels so good.

Dating: September 1998, I was 20 and Jeremy was 23

A year later... leaving our wedding reception

And now, 10 years later. A little wiser, definitely some grey hairs and more laugh lines than I'd like to admit but I'm looking forward to what another 10 years will bring.

We are leaving in a little more than an hour to drop the boys off with my sister and then spend our first night away since Sawyer's birth! We are really excited to sit down at a nice restaurant, talk uninterrupted, and go back to a nice quiet hotel where we don't have to worry about who's jumping on the beds or running too loudly. Time away, just the two of us. It's very much deserved and we plan to enjoy each moment together until tomorrow afternoon when we pick up our boys and bring them back home to our normal life again.

Kitchen fun - making nut creamsicles

2009-07-18T09:12:00.000-07:00

We got down to business in the kitchen yesterday. We were desperate for something cold and sweet to eat so we made berry nut creamsicles. The boys got elbow deep in water to wash the popsicle molds.

Since we can't have dairy, and I don't like the taste of soy ice cream very much, we're always looking for healthier alternatives. We have a raw 'ice cream' that the boys and I love and it makes perfect creamsicles. They scooped out the avocado and put handfuls of cashews in the blender. I bought a Vita-Mix a few months ago and while I told myself for years that I didn't really need one, I can't imagine my kitchen without one now. Besides making our "ice cream" in a matter of minutes, I make our own gluten-free flour, green smoothies, and it can even blend up compost from the kitchen! I love this machine.

We enjoyed a little cup while the creamsicles were freezing.

Berry Peach Iced Nut Cream

1/2 cup raw cashews
1 large orange, juiced (or 1 cup orange juice)
1-2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 ripe avocado
1 cup frozen raspberries
1/2 to 1 cup frozen strawberries
1/2 cup frozen peach slices

If you own a Vita-Mix you can blend all the ingredients in it (adding more orange juice as it's needed). Otherwise, use a blender to blend until creamy and smooth the cashews, orange juice, and vanilla.

Then transfer the cashew mixture to a food processor fitted with the 's' blade and add the avocado, frozen raspberries, frozen strawberries, and frozen peach slices then process until smooth, thick, and creamy.

Serve immediately, or freeze for later use. To serve frozen nut cream, let stand at room temperature for about 5 to 10 minutes then place into the food processor and process until soft and creamy.*

*This is my slightly modified version. The original recipe is from The Whole Life Nutrition Cookbook.

House trimmings

2009-07-13T08:50:00.000-07:00

Our house is getting a little makeover this month. We've known for the past year that the house needed a fresh coat of paint. It's been more than 15 years since it was painted this grey and it's definitely worn in many areas.

Our house was originally built in 1932ish but caught fire sometime around 1990 and was significantly damaged. The owners decided to rebuild and more than doubled the size. I was told by a neighbor that the original house was one of the smallest on our block. Now it's about 2200 square feet with 5 bedrooms and 2 full baths upstairs and an office and full bath on the main floor. While I love it's quirkiness (the front half of the house is original and the back half and upstairs is the new part), it lacks that 1930's character that a lot of classic Portland homes have. We are slowly trying to add some of that classic feel back in a little at a time.

In addition to painting the outside, we decided to have some custom molding put in around the windows and doors. Since then we've noticed that a lot of newer homes are built without this added detail and it's such a shame! Most older homes were built with a lot of attention to the detail, size, and shape of the molding giving each house a unique look. But now it seems to be considered something unnecessary that most home builders cut to save money.

We are so happy with the trim and details the men put into it. I was really nervous at first since they had to cut into our siding to fit the trim in but they did a beautiful job. And now I can't wait to see it painted. If only we can decide on a color! Green? Cream trim? Maybe a third color in there somewhere?? We're hoping to get samples this week since the painter has already begun his prep work.

Hello July!

2009-07-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

I decide to spend a couple of weeks away from blogging and being tied to the internet and the next thing I know nearly a month has gone by! We had a wonderful June and July seems to be heading in that same direction. The boys are loving every minute of outdoor sunshine and we are trying to take full advantage of it. Jeremy is able to work from home 2 full days a week now and is usually home in the afternoons on the other days... and we wouldn't have it any other way.

I've done a lot of thinking in my less-internet time. Lots of life thinking. Dreaming big about what we want to do and be as a family. There are so many amazing things to look forward to, so many hopes and dreams that we want to see happen. And really it all comes down to family. To being together, experiencing life together, slowing down together. Not letting things we want, get in the way of us, as parents, as partners, as kids, as brothers. What a gift life is!

I've had thoughts of closing down the blog. I started blogging 4 1/2 years ago when Ian was born. It was a picture blog to keep family on the opposite coast in touch with our life. Then 2 years ago I decided to branch out and actually write here in this space. It's always been something that I've enjoyed but always felt it was for others, rather than myself. And I just wasn't sure I wanted to keep up with that (or why anyone other than family would care to read). I would much rather be a mom then just sit around talking about it. So I went back and forth until I realized pretty quickly reading through my past posts that I've been writing a journal this entire time. Not just filling in other people about our life... but reminding us of all the things we have done. I've mentioned before that I don't scrapbook and I don't hand write journals either. So this is it really... a place I can put down my thoughts and tell of the things the boys have done... things that would otherwise easily be forgotten and have been forgotten until I reread it here.

So I've decided to stay on. I really do hope to share my heart a little more on what we are doing and I hope it comes across as a little insight into our lives, rather than a proclamation of how we do things. We are simple homebodies at best. We spend more time in these 4 walls (or in our own backyard) than any other place and that's how we love it. I hope, if you do read here, that you can enjoy some of it too. It's my goal as a mama to enrich our lives and spend each day living, not just getting by. I think the boys are enjoying the journey too.

(Eating newly-discovered gluten-free bread from Great Harvest Bakery... delicious!)

Summer digging

2009-06-16T15:30:00.000-07:00

Sitting on the back porch with a bowl full of strawberries, a glass of cold water, and my current favorite cookbooks... listening to the boys playing, realizing that they have many conversations between themselves... loving summer and all it brings, including the dirt.

It's the compromise of each season. In winter, I spend my time trying to come up with things for the boys to do indoors since the cold and wet only allow for short bursts of outdoor play. In the summer, I spend that same amount of time making sure they take off their shoes before coming in and sweeping up the trails of dirt that follow them all around the house. It's a worthwhile compromise.

For the past couple of weeks they've been archeologists, digging and digging, hoping to find treasure. A quick trip to the thrift store and I found an endless supply of archeological equipment: spoons, forks, ladles, sifters, pots, tongs, and spatula. They work perfectly and can stay outside when not being used.

There's a lot of celebrating when a treasure is found deep in the earth, previously hidden. It takes a place of honor on our nature table and then the digging continues.

I am almost as excited as they are when they discover something. I'm in my own world of archeology and fiction. Thanks to my sister, I've been lost and absorbed in the Abigail Peabody mysteries and just in time too. I had tossed 3 popular fiction books out in a row, never making it past the 3rd chapter because the writing was awful. The more I read, the pickier I am. I can't bear to waste my time on drivel. Thank you Elizabeth Peters for devoting your life to writing, my vivid imagination and my precious spare time greatly appreciate it. (Dreaming of a trip to Egypt now....)

A mouse in the house

2009-06-12T10:39:00.000-07:00

A little mouse showed up last week.

I had a little quiet time in the afternoon and grabbed a knitting book and some needles.

Isn't she darling?

Ian named her Goga.

A friend, in green and yellow, is on the knitting needles now.

Welcome sun...

2009-05-29T08:09:00.000-07:00

It's been two and a half weeks since I've even looked at this space. I've thought about it occasionally but there have been so many things keeping us busy that I let the thoughts drift on by. What a beautiful late May it's been around here. Absolutely gorgeous, near perfect weather. We have spent more time outside these past two weeks than the entire first part of the year combined I believe.

There's been a lot of sliding, digging holes in the dirt, bike riding, and especially playing in water. I'm not sure there's anything better than a couple containers of water and lots of little cups and bottles to fill up and dump out again and again.

Ian realized early on that he could make a pretty mean mud hole and send his Lego guy swimming in it (with the sharks and crocodiles no less!).

And Sawyer, never one to be left out, continues to wow us with his ability to get completely dirty within minutes of wandering outside. And it always, always, shows up on his face first.

There's also been a lot of cooking and a lot of sewing going on around here (really... I can't believe how much having a sewing space helps). If this is a preview of summer... it's going to be a really great couple of months.

Happy Birthday baby

2009-05-12T08:06:00.001-07:00

A birthday banner....

Delicious food full of goodness with lots of family members to enjoy...

And one tired but completely satisfied boy, all make for a great birthday party over the weekend.

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My baby is 2 years old today.... (dirt-streaked face and all)

Two years ago, just about time...

Born at 2:42 am in a bath of warm water....

Relaxing with Dad on the porch at barely a week old...

And showing off for a very tired mama...

Happy 2nd birthday Sawyer... we love you more than words can say.

A few more things to share

2009-05-08T13:45:00.000-07:00

My antique-dealer neighbor is having a garage sale (Seriously! And she has a booth at my favorite antique store) and it reminded me that I had a few more things to share from this post.

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A small quilt.. perfect for picnics or anything involving the boys. It's in good condition but not so delicate that I'm afraid they will tear it.

An old egg basket that is currently holding fabric scraps in my new sewing room. I love these old baskets because they can collapse and fold to lay completely flat yet they stand open on their own too.

An old teapot and tablecloth... just because.

And another plant stand, painted blue. I can't decide if it will join my other one outside or stay inside and hold a lamp or plant or whatever else I can come up with. But I love it's shape.

And lastly... not an antique... but a birthday sign I've been working on all week. We are celebrating Sawyer's 2nd birthday tomorrow with a big family BBQ and I really wanted something special to hang on the wall. The letters are inset, cut from the green fabric and stitched to the colored fabric beneath. It's so close to being done... just a little bias tape at the top to tie them all together.

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Happy Mother's Day to all the mamas out there!

For Grandma

2009-05-05T08:08:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago we were finally able to put up a new play structure in place of the old one we had torn down two years ago. Remember how sad Ian looked? But he's thrilled now to have a new sturdy play set with an actual working ladder he can climb up. Not to mention that he now has a brother he can share it with! Grandma Bonnie in NY has requested pictures so these are for you Grandma!

The whole set... It has two covered areas which are perfect for hiding out or enjoying lunch. We are still working on getting a ground cover and making it look a little more tidy. In the meantime, we are hoping the grass returns since a lot of it has been eaten by our chickens when they had full backyard access.

Many important conversations go on in here.

Lots of strategizing and planning... especially over apple slices.

Not to mention, silly looks at mom who keeps taking their picture.

Half-eaten apples with tiny two-year-old teeth marks are left behind in various corners.

And even Henry the cat is enjoying new places to sun himself and sleep.

Now, if only the rain would let up just a little so we can go out and play on it again...

Weekend finds

2009-04-29T14:17:00.000-07:00

With all the rain coming down, a busy week behind us and one coming up, I decided that I had fully earned a few hours out by myself. I quickly called my grandma to see if she wanted to join me and off we went. I was in the mood to find something and knew the thrift store just wouldn't do. So we headed to the nearby antique store. We walked in to find their back room stuffed full of goodies in their (surprise!) annual home and garden event. I nearly went weak-kneed and found my heart pounding trying to take in everything. I told myself to calm down and to stay focused as a list of needs started running through my head... birthdays... my new sewing room... the newly painted front room. I walked slowly at first trying to think of what I needed but quickly became overwhelmed. I decided I couldn't take everything in in one simple pass... so we took four. And then I went back the next day and the next until I finally declared on Monday that I no longer needed to go back. I had looked at every single thing there was to look at and felt happy with my few purchases. I even showed restraint talking myself out of the ones that, you know, I really didn't need. Here's just a few of the things that I did need... for spring ya'll.

A new yellow apron

A wooden box for crayons... the packaged tin just wasn't working out anymore.

A wire basket full of wooden clothes hangers and spools (I think the boys and I can come up with a few creative things for these).

Pillowcases. I've slowly been collecting these vintage pillowcases with embroidery stitching over the past couple of years. Nearly all I've found are in great condition. I don't even need there to be a matching twin which makes it fun to mix and match. This yellow tulip however came with a twin and they are probably my favorite pair so far.

I saw this wooden flower box right away. It sits perfectly on the front porch.

See? All must-haves. I'll show you the rest in the next blog post.

Sunshine

2009-04-22T15:03:00.001-07:00

If we could have lived outside this past week we would have. The sun has been out, not a cloud in the sky. Even the impending forecast of rain showers in the morning doesn't feel so bad after all that sun.

We bought a new chicken coop this past month. Our old one was stationary and while it worked well this past year, we quickly realized that 3 chickens can produce a lot of chicken poop and cover a lot of ground since any spot will do when the need arises. So we decided to sell our stationary coop and buy a movable chicken tractor (picture gallery here). Now the chickens are kept in the chicken tractor all the time where they have a roost, nest boxes, and an open floor with plenty of access to the ground. We move it around the yard every week so they'll get plenty of fresh grass and bugs but we can also control where the poop lands. Now we can run around bare foot outside again!

Ian and Sawyer's favorite thing is to check for eggs inside the nest box. We tend to lose several eggs a week this way since little hands like to drop them in the bucket instead of placing them gently inside but they love gathering them so much that it's worth a few cracked shells.

And Ian's newest discovery... climbing trees.

While the boys were soaking in the sunshine I was inside painting. After 4 days it's nearly done. There's blue paint still inside the windows and I'm planning on taking down the blinds and putting up curtains instead but it's so close to being done. It's like a breath of fresh air to walk in there now. I love the color.

This weekend we'll be putting my sewing room together... yes, a sewing room! I'm so happy that I smile every time I think about it. I'll post pictures when it's done.

Paintings

2009-04-17T15:20:00.000-07:00

"Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once he grows up."
- Picasso

Patiently

2009-04-15T13:59:00.000-07:00

Things that have been accomplished so far this week:

Signing Ian up for a spring soccer class.
Baking brownies and consuming them while watching American Idol.
1 load of laundry

Things still needing attention:

8 loads of laundry
The front living room that is completely out of order because I thought I was actually going to start painting it last weekend but haven't yet. See?

2 bathrooms that need a scrub down
Grocery shopping
Flowers waiting to be potted
Getting to the fabric store so I can start sewing the things I need to get done by next month (there's a 2nd birthday coming soon!)
Getting outside
Mopping the floors

But it will all have to wait until this one starts feeling better.

When he doesn't feel well he doesn't sleep. So naps are out unless I'm holding and breastfeeding him. And he will only sleep in our bed at night with his head on my shoulder and his feet kicking Jeremy at random times. He doesn't eat either which makes me thankful I'm still nursing him. Doctor says he's fine... just needs to get through the fever. In the meantime... we are all about lounging around and reading books. Thank goodness we have plenty of those.

Eggs, Sun, and Good Friday

2009-04-09T17:58:00.000-07:00

I realized a few weeks ago that we didn't need to create our own decorated eggs for Easter because our chickens were doing it for us. It's amazing and beautiful what nature provides outside of the plastic egg carton in the grocery store. Somehow I'm not sure this second one would have made the cut to be shipped and sold... we'll happily take it though!

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Our weather this last weekend was beautiful. And while we are back to the rain for a bit it feels like summer really could be here in a couple of months. We took advantage of the beautiful days and spent most of our time outdoors.

The boys got plenty of sun while helping us plant some of the vegetable seeds....

.... following the chickens around the yard...

... and helping each other with their shoes in a big pile of dirt.

Then we came inside for smoothies and homemade muffins. Sawyer has mastered the art of buttering and enjoys it far more than the actually eating.

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Tomorrow is Good Friday. Ian and I have had a few bedtime conversations lately about Jesus and what He did for us on that day so many years ago. He listened intently and was so heartbroken when I told him that Jesus had died there, on the cross. And we were both relieved when I could tell him the good news... that Jesus rose again and is alive today. I hope we can make our own easter garden tomorrow. I love a good art visual and since Ian has gardening on the brain, what better representative to illustrate what Good Friday and Easter Sunday are about.

What a difference a week makes

2009-04-02T15:11:00.000-07:00

Ian grew up this past week. It was more like 2 days really. He is now an official underwear-ing member of society. We waited 4 years and 1 month but it only took 2 days. He's officially potty trained!

I was told it could happen like that. I was told it would happen like that if we waited until he was ready. So we waited... and waited... and waited. About once every 6 months I would spend a morning trying to get him to sit on the toilet but he would have none of it. Some days I would ask him and he would refuse politely. And so we waited.

I was perfectly fine waiting until he's ready. It's kind of how we've ended up parenting in every other area too so it seemed natural to just wait it out with him. Plus... the stories I heard from people about the accidents and the hours spent day after day trying to convince them to sit on the toilet was enough to scare me out of rushing him.

I decided last week would be a good time to try again, just to see if he was willing. Within a day I could see this time was different. By the very next day it was no longer me asking him but him telling me that he needed to go. By the 3rd morning, it all clicked, just like that. It's been a week and 1/2 now since we began and he hasn't had an accident since day 2. And not only that but by day 4 he had potty trained himself at night, completely. We don't even need to remind him any more, he does his business by himself and tells us afterward. And the best part? No bribing was needed.

What a difference 4 makes. I look at Sawyer who is nearly 2 and can't imagine trying to make him potty train. The comprehension level is just so different. I imagine, like most kids who start young, that he would eventually get it but it would look quite different than it did with Ian. All the waiting, all the swallowing my pride and knowing that we were doing best by him by waiting until he was ready... all of it... was worth the wait.

Ian seems so much older now... much more independent. He wants to do more and more things on his own now. I know this transition was a big deal in his mind and I can tell that it's made a positive effect on him and how he sees himself.

What a gift and joy he is to us. He and I played some simple card games yesterday while Sawyer took a nap and I love knowing that we'll have many many more afternoons like that together.

Springing ahead

2009-03-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

Nearly two weeks of varying degrees of coughing and runny noses and we are finally emerging from the fog. I had been feeling like we had gotten away with something this winter since none of us had been sick until this but clearly we didn't. Although I have certain hopes of making it all winter and spring next year without a single sniffle. Wouldn't that be nice?

While the boys came up with the housebound adventures of Indiana Jones (which is pretty cute since they've never actually seen the movies), I let the blogging, painting, and general housework go and spent my time wiping noses and devouring this book. It's one I really recommend if you are interested.

We also planted some heirloom tomato seeds indoors which began to sprout just a few days ago.

I have two types of tomatoes seeds from Abundant Life Seeds here in Oregon. Stupice tomatoes and Red Currant cherry tomatoes. I'll be starting a lettuce blend soon and the rainbow swiss chard after that. The rest I'll get as starter plants at the nursery. Ian and I talk about the vegetable garden nearly every day and about all the things we want to plant. He was nearly as excited as I was when we saw the first little shoot from our tomatoes. This is our first time starting with indoor seeds so we're hoping at least one survives the transplant to the outdoors. We have most of the soil we need for our garden beds so hopefully the sun shines long enough this week to finish them.

For today though... the windows are open and we are happily breathing in the fresh air and getting back to normal life.

A bit of sunshine on a rainy day

2009-03-17T11:29:00.000-07:00

We are in full spring mode around here with grey skies and lots and lots of rain. So much so that any tiny hint of blue skies and sun has us all running for the outdoors to soak it up.

I worked on a couple projects over the weekend and they turned out so bright and cheery they're already helping me through the upcoming forecast of more grey skies. This first one, a crocheted handbag, I started here and sewed the lining in yesterday. The second project, a fabric trimmed cork board (in the background) took me a few hours on Saturday morning.

This bag was so fun to make and really quite easy. It's just single crochet stitches, increasing and decreasing in various places to make the bottom and the straps. Pattern here.

I sewed fabric on the inside to line it which not only looks great but helps keep the bag from stretching. I've been wanting to make this for awhile now to have something to carry my yarn projects in wherever I go.

I started the second project when I wanted a corkboard in the play area of our living room where the boys could put up pictures they've drawn, pictures we find of animals or places, or just anything interesting we want to look at. I decided to use some fabric I already had to trim the wood edges for a little character since the wood made the whole thing a little blah.

I used a staple gun to secure the fabric on the back and then pushed the fabric between the corkboard and wood frame with a thin nylon scraper (you could use anything, I just happen to see this in the kitchen and it worked great because it was thin, sturdy, and didn't puncture the fabric). I added a little glue to the corners to help the fabric stay in place.

I pinned a few handmade quilt flowers up from a cutter quilt my next door neighbor gave me to add a little more color. It's the perfect height for the boys and I'm excited to see what fun things they will come up with to display.

Buying in bulk

2009-03-10T20:33:00.000-07:00

On Monday, the boys and I took a leisurely drive in the wet snowfall out to my sister's house for our bulk food pick up. Every few months we place an order with a local company here in the NW where we can buy organic, natural food mostly in bulk and with better prices than the grocery stores. It comes in on a semi-truck and we gather around the back huddled in our coats waiting to load the boxes into the back of our vehicle. The boys love it when we get home and start to open all the boxes to see what's inside.

We get all sorts of dried beans, rice, oats, nuts, seeds, and gluten free flours. As well as honey, agave nectar, gf/df chocolate chips and the list goes on. I'm slowly building my basement pantry and I'm almost at the place where my weekly grocery trip is only needed to buy fresh fruits, vegetables and other perishables. Maybe even less if I get my garden going this spring.

All of this reminds me of the little articles, blog posts, and websites that I keep seeing lately on the art of homemaking. I'm excited that there is a purposeful return to keeping a home and taking care of those that live there. And most importantly that it's okay to enjoy it.

I'm always surprised to find that everything takes effort and hard work to be done well. Taking pride in writing a grocery list or making sure the laundry is sorted day after day isn't easy unless you realize who you are doing it for and that you are doing it because you love them. I take care of my home because I love creating that sense of home for my family.

This is my 3rd time ordering our food staples this way and I'm still trying to get it right. I seem to order too much of one thing and not enough of another. But I know it just takes time to figure out exactly what my family needs. Maybe in another 3 orders I'll have it down and then I can move on to learning something else. But what seems difficult in the beginning can become second nature over time. That's how I feel about most things, especially concerning this house and what it takes to create a home here. I know it's worth the day to day effort and I'm so encouraged that others do as well.

Week in motion

2009-03-05T21:02:00.000-08:00

I still can't believe the weekend is almost here. It's amazing how I can wake up each morning with a plan, a to-do list, and yet only 1/8th of it gets accomplished before I find myself tucked into bed again for the night. Funny how life gets in the way of our structured lists. I'm constantly learning to lessen my grip and let the day figure itself out along the way. Laundry still gets done, we still eat, phone calls still get made, but we have freedom to move about. And I know it's true, that we are happier this way. Happy when we can read just one book more after we've already finished seven, or scramble to get our coats and boots on and run out the front door to take a walk when we see the sun peeking out through the clouds. And happy still when our day is completely upended and nothing from our usual schedule occurs.

Tuesday morning Jeremy woke up with a stuffy nose and groggy voice telling me he was going to work from home that morning. This was very fortunate for me because I woke up with a pinched nerve in my neck and couldn't get out of bed. So being the amazing and wonderful man he is, he dragged himself out of bed, tissue in hand, and got the boys dressed and downstairs to start the morning. I stayed in bed most of the day and the boys wandered up and down the stairs to spend time with both of us. We decided the only prudent thing to do was to declare it a movie day, so we snuggled in and watched a documentary called The Wild Parrots of Telegraph Hill (from Netflix). We loved everything about it.

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After my day in bed I figured I should make the most of what was left of the week and decided it was time to paint. The kitchen is finally back to her old self.... dill pickle green... and I was able to hang my $3 thrift store find next to the window to hold some garlic, chicken eggs (did you know fresh eggs don't have to be refrigerated?) and washcloths. I'm feeling a little more put together again.

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Sawyer was in a rare mood this morning and stood still to let me take some pictures. He has grown up over night and he seems way more two than one lately. He's almost 22 months now so two really isn't so far away.

And Ian who is FULL of personality and opinion these days told me he couldn't smile for the camera because he was a robot and "mom...robots don't smile".

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My neck is almost back to normal so I'm hoping to get a few more things done this weekend. Some serious spring cleaning has been filling my head so maybe I'll get those untouched corners organized. Maybe.

Have a wonderful weekend!

The state of things

2009-02-27T14:37:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I had an idea and decided that it just had to be done. So I drove to the paint store, bought 10 samples of paint and started testing them in my kitchen. And this is how it looks, still, today. Every day this week I walked in there and examined and stared and turned my head and tried to envision the space and color. I think I've finally figured out what I want. I'm staying with the green that was in there to begin with. And this means heading back to the paint store to buy a gallon of paint to cover over my "brilliant idea".

Of course my epiphany came with a tagalong that I felt must also be carried out right away. See the mirror on the wall? This is our front room. The room you first walk into when you come into the house. It suffers for a lack of purpose. No one knows what this room is or what it does except to contain a huge mirror. Our piano is stuck right in front of it but it doesn't fit well. So I decided it had to come down. Immediately of course.

So I stayed in my pajamas, grabbed a hammer and screwdriver and started pulling at the baseboards and the wainscoting that covered the bottom half. When it got to the mirror, my plan was to just start pulling the (10 foot) mirror off and to "see what happens". Jeremy just stared at me, left the room, and returned a few minutes later with a rug to cover the floor, a box to put the broken pieces of glass in, gloves, goggles, and shoes for my um, unclad feet. He took over most of the work wearing a cowboy hat to protect his head (he made sure to point out). We pulled and hammered and scraped and eventually, piece by piece, the mirror came down.

With a little help of course....

Finally it was finished. To our surprise, the wall is in pretty decent shape and shouldn't take too much work to fix the little holes and scrape off the remaining glue. Notice the green paint in the bottom corner? I didn't keep my paint samples quarantined to the kitchen... they started spreading to other rooms as well.

After craning my neck and squinting my eyes in hopes of seeing a full room in a tiny patch of color, I think I've finally decided on the paint for this room as well and it's not green OR blue. In the meantime, while certain walls are having identity crises, I'm enjoying a leisurely friday afternoon playing a very crazy game of memory with Ian and crocheting in between turns.

(See where my mind is lately? Tearing down mirrors, painting random walls, and bouncing between knitting and crocheting which have sent my fingers tripping a few times. But I discovered a new yarn store and I just had to get a few skeins of yarn and now another project is on the way.)

Homemade Tuesday

2009-02-24T13:43:00.000-08:00

The yeast has been proofed in my little white bowl.
The bread is quietly rising in a corner of the kitchen.
The beans have been soaking since last night, nearly ready for the soup that's planned for dinner.
Sawyer is napping.
Ian is playing quietly in his room.
Henry is sleeping, snuggled at my feet.
And I am knitting little house helpers. They are wonderful and oh so pretty to look at. I want a big stack of them for my kitchen, in all colors.

Post birthday bash

2009-02-22T20:29:00.000-08:00

My post birthday recovery is over... I didn't intend to ignore this little space here but it appears I did. It's been a good week though, filled with lots of naps and quiet time. I'm not sure I will schedule two birthday parties back to back like that again. But it was wonderful and Ian loved the attention and gifts and cakes and every little thing about everything.

He's officially 4 now and takes every chance he can to tell people about it. I love this picture, he's not in focus and it's a bit dark, but he's just so genuinely happy at this moment. Recognize the candles?? So the cake's a little ... short... but making any type of gluten-free/dairy-free baked treat bounce and stand tall is a bit difficult. Maybe by his 14th birthday I will get it just right... hopefully. He didn't seem to mind though, it tastes great.

And Henry wanted to say hello. What an incredible little friend he's turned out to be.

I'll be back soon... there's been knitting and painting and cooking.... and can you believe it's almost March?

*Henry pic from NP

4 amazing years

2009-02-14T09:26:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Ian Jeremy...

Counting birds

2009-02-11T09:31:00.000-08:00

Ian and I are getting ready for the Great Backyard Bird Count! It's an annual event that happens across the country in order to take a tally of the birds we see in our own backyard. Experts are able to use these numbers to compare with the previous years species and total numbers. It takes as little as 15 minutes of your time just one day or you can spend hours over the 4 days counting bird sightings. We are reading up on bird species, hoping to identify some when we go out looking. Here's a list of the top birds seen in 2008.

It begins on February 13 and goes for 4 days. All it requires is 15 minutes in your yard, counting individual birds (identifying them if possible), and then logging online to report your findings. You can even boost your chances of seeing them by putting out birdseed to attract them.

This will be our first year doing it but it's a great excuse for the family to get out and observe nature, taking notice of the little creatures in the process. Only two days to go!

Photo by NP

Henry

2009-02-09T08:37:00.000-08:00

Henry moved in over the weekend... and I think he's happy with his new home.

Sawyer follows him around saying "mmow, mmow" while trying to hug him and Ian does anything he can to make Henry jump and play. He loves to climb on our laps to be rubbed and to fall asleep. We love him already.

He came from the local shelter. The boys and I occasionally look online at the cats and dogs just for fun trying to imagine what they would be like here. When I saw this little guy's face I told Jeremy I wanted to go and see him. He looks nearly identical to the cat, Logan, we had before our kids were born. Logan drove cross country with us when we moved but died after being hit by a car a few months later. We've always missed him. When I went to see Henry, I was struck by how similar he was to Logan and realized that I just couldn't leave him there at the shelter. So now he's home... renamed from Harley to Henry... something familiar to him yet making him ours.

Worms and kitchens

2009-02-06T15:36:00.000-08:00

A batch of red wigglers have finally found a home here in our basement. They really dislike the light so we were torturing them in the name of curiosity but we were so excited to see them. It's been almost a year since our first attempt through Craigslist which didn't end up very well. So today we finally made it to Pistils Nursery to get a good batch. And I'm excited to see how our worm bin does... it's supposed to separate the worms from the compost naturally as well as give us some good compost tea. Now we'll have a third way of composting our food. What the chickens won't eat, the worms will, and what the worms don't eat our compost bin outside will gladly welcome. One more step in having less garbage to throw away!

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And I have found a new love... it's a kitchen in a kitchen. I was browsing through house pictures one day and saw this adorable little eclectic home, full of color and unique odds and ends, and right there in the kitchen was a little person's kitchen. Brilliant! I have thought about getting a little bigger kitchen for the boys since they do love to "cook" but it never occurred to me to have it in our kitchen so we could all cook together. So this morning when I was at Grasshopper with Ian, I saw they had little wooden kitchens by WonderWorld on sale. It's a hit so far and if only dried beans and paper bacon and eggs were edible, dinner would be made...